Distress at work: recognising the signs and knowing who to talk to

First the Sunday evenings get heavy. Then you start waking at four in the morning with your head already at the office. Then one day there are tears in the car before you walk in from the car park. Distress at work rarely arrives all at once, which is exactly why it's so hard to see coming.

I know this from experience. I worked for years in start-ups, until I burned out. I told myself that tiredness was the normal price of a job I loved, and I took far too long to listen to what my body kept repeating. Today, as a sophrologist in Bordeaux, I often see people who have reached that same point.

Here you'll find the signs that should alert you, how to separate what comes from you and what comes from your job, who to turn to in practice, and what sophrology can do for you in the meantime.

Distress at work isn't "just stress"

A spike of stress before a deadline is normal: the body gears up, then recovers. Distress begins when it no longer recovers. When the weekend isn't enough any more, when holidays aren't enough, when the very idea of going back makes your throat tighten.

It isn't rare. According to Santé publique France, the French public health agency, among employees seen by occupational doctors taking part in its monitoring programme, work-related psychological distress affected 5.9% of women and 2.7% of men, figures that doubled in a dozen years. The agency also points out that it isn't on the official list of occupational diseases, so it is rarely recognised as such.

When this wear and tear goes as far as exhaustion, we call it burnout. The INRS, France's occupational health and safety institute, describes it as a set of reactions to chronic work stress, with three dimensions: emotional exhaustion, a kind of cynicism or distance from other people, and the feeling that you no longer achieve anything worthwhile.

The signs I see coming in sessions

The people I work with almost never say "I'm suffering at work". They say they're tired, sleeping badly, short-tempered. Here is what comes up most often.

In the body

• Tiredness that won't go away, even after several decent nights.
• Waking in the middle of the night with work going round and round.
• Tension in the neck, shoulders and jaw, a knotted stomach.
• More frequent headaches, catching every cold going.

In emotions and behaviour

• Unusual irritability over small things.
• Tears that well up without warning.
• Wanting to withdraw: eating lunch alone, turning the camera off, avoiding the coffee machine.
• Or the opposite: working more and more, staying late, answering emails at night to "get back in control".
• Losing interest in what you used to enjoy, at work and outside it.

One of these signs for a few days doesn't mean much. Several of them over several weeks are worth stopping for.

What comes from you and what comes from your job

It's a trap I fell into myself: thinking that if you're struggling, it's because you're not tough enough. Yet distress at work very often comes from the way the work itself is organised.

The French Ministry of Labour's leaflet on distress at work lists very concrete situations: constant criticism, humiliation, being sidelined, managers who only communicate by email, vague or contradictory instructions, a workload that has become unmanageable. These situations aren't "in your head". Your employer has a legal duty to protect your physical and mental health, and some of these situations may amount to workplace harassment.

At other times it's more diffuse: lack of recognition, loss of meaning, the gap between what you thought the job would be and what you're asked to do.

Making this distinction isn't about finding someone to blame. It's about choosing the right actions: some are yours to take, others need to be taken on by the company.

What to do if you're struggling at work

See your GP

This is the first step, especially if you've been sleeping badly for weeks or no longer recognise yourself. Your doctor can assess how you are, suggest the right support and, if needed, sign you off work to protect you while you recover.

Prepare for the appointment by writing down how long you've been feeling unwell, what has changed in your sleep, appetite and mood, and what is going on at work. On the day, emotion often makes you forget half of it. And if you find it hard to talk about, you can simply hand over the sheet of paper.

Contact the occupational health doctor

Many employees don't know this: as service-public.fr explains, in France you can contact the occupational health service directly, without your employer's permission, and you cannot be penalised for it. The occupational doctor is bound by confidentiality. Their role is preventive: they can recommend adjustments to your role or a transfer to your employer, and refer you on to specialist services.

Keep a record of what happens

The Ministry of Labour recommends keeping a logbook: the date, what happened, who was there, how you felt. It isn't paranoia. It helps you see what you're going through more objectively, and it's useful if you ever need to build a case.

Don't stay on your own

Talk to someone close to you, a colleague you trust, or staff representatives if there are any. Isolation makes everything worse. Putting it into words in front of someone else is often the first time you realise how much you've been absorbing for months.

An exercise for difficult days

While things are moving forward, you still need to keep going. Here's a sophrology exercise I often suggest, to do before you walk into the office, in the toilets between two meetings, or in the car.

1. Sit down with both feet flat on the floor. Put one hand on your belly.
2. Breathe in through your nose, letting your belly swell gently, for a count of four.
3. Breathe out slowly through your mouth for a count of six, as if blowing on a candle without putting it out.
4. Repeat five times.
5. Then lift your shoulders towards your ears as you breathe in, hold for two seconds, and drop them all at once as you breathe out. Three times.
6. To finish, silently name three things you can see around you.

It takes two minutes. It doesn't fix the underlying problem, but it gives you a little air just when you need it.

What sophrology can offer, and what it can't

In sessions we work on what is yours to work on: noticing tension earlier as it builds, getting more restful sleep, letting the body relax, preparing for a difficult conversation with your manager. The people I work with often tell me they feel they can "breathe again".

Research points the same way, with caution. A Cochrane review of 117 trials involving more than 11,000 healthcare workers shows that individual approaches, including relaxation and physical activity, may reduce stress symptoms in the short term. The authors rate the evidence as low quality, though.

What sophrology doesn't do: it doesn't change a dysfunctional organisation, it doesn't stop harassment, and it does not replace medical advice. I'd rather say it plainly: teaching you to put up with a situation that is destroying you would be doing you no favours. Sophrology works alongside your doctor's care and the steps you take at work, never instead of them.

When to see a doctor straight away

Some signs shouldn't wait for a sophrology session. See your doctor quickly if you're barely sleeping, can no longer get up to go to work, are losing your appetite, or no longer take pleasure in anything.

And if you have dark thoughts, don't wait: in France, call 3114, the national suicide prevention line, free and available day and night, or 15 in an emergency. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number.

When you're ready, I can support you with sophrology for adults, at my practice on rue Ducau for a sophrology session in Bordeaux or through online sophrology if you'd rather stay at home. My prices are listed per session. To go further on your own, you can also read my advice on managing stress and emotions.