Nomophobia: when being without your phone turns into anxiety

You pat your pocket as you leave the house, just to check. The battery turns red and something tightens in your stomach. You left your phone at the office and the afternoon feels endless. There is a word for this: nomophobia, the fear of being separated from your phone.

I am a sophrologist, hypnotherapist and wellbeing coach in Bordeaux. Before that, I spent years in start-ups, right up to burnout, in a world where you answer quickly and often. So I am not going to lecture you about your phone. Instead, I suggest we look at what is going on, and how you can take back a little room.

Here you will find what the word means, what the studies really say, the signs to look out for, practical steps, an exercise for the moment the anxiety rises, and when to see a doctor.

Nomophobia: what this recent word means

Nomophobia comes from "no mobile phone", with the word phobia added on. Researchers at the University of Genoa describe it, in a review article, as the discomfort, nervousness or distress you feel when you are cut off from your phone. Someone who feels it is called nomophobic.

So the word is less about the time spent on the screen than about what happens when the screen is missing. You can spend a lot of time on your phone without panicking at the thought of being apart from it. The reverse happens too.

A very common discomfort

A meta-analysis published in Psychiatry Research brought together 43 studies, covering 36,656 people in 18 countries, who had filled in a questionnaire about their relationship with their phone. The result: 26% described mild discomfort, 51% moderate discomfort and 21% severe discomfort. Students and young adults were the most affected. The authors make an important point: these are self-reported levels of distress, not diagnoses.

A real phobia or a habit that has taken over?

The question comes up often, and the honest answer is that we do not really know yet. The same meta-analysis points out that nomophobia does not appear in the DSM-5 or the ICD-11, the two main medical reference classifications. The Genoa researchers had proposed including it, while urging caution so that ordinary behaviour is not turned into an illness.

A team of Indian doctors highlights another difficulty: it is often impossible to tell whether the anxiety comes from the phone, or whether anxiety that was already there, such as social anxiety, has latched onto it. The phone can act as a shield, a way of avoiding face-to-face contact. Sorting this out is a doctor's job, not mine. But what I often see in sessions points the same way: the phone is rarely where the problem started. It has become the quickest answer to a feeling of unease.

The signs to look out for

The Genoa review describes several typical behaviours. See whether any of them ring a bell:

• you always carry a charger, and a low battery worries you;
• you feel nervous when the signal drops or the phone is out of reach;
• you look at the screen for no reason, to see whether a message has arrived;
• you think you hear it ring or vibrate when it is silent;
• it stays on day and night, and sleeps with you in bed;
• you avoid places where you have to switch it off.

As for the body, the Indian team mentions anxiety, changes in breathing, trembling, sweating, restlessness and a racing heart. Ticking two or three lines does not make you ill. The question to ask yourself is rather: is it costing me something? Sleep, concentration, time with the people I love?

What it does to sleep and attention

Inserm, the French national institute for health research, explains that screens used late in the evening, rich in blue light, delay falling asleep. A phone on the bedside table, checked every time you wake, does not help. I go into this further in my tips for better sleep.

And even when it is switched off, it weighs on you. A meta-analysis from the University of Augsburg, which pooled 22 studies, found a negative effect of using a smartphone, and of its mere presence, on attention and memory. Results vary a lot from one study to another, and the authors call for more research. But the idea is worth keeping in mind: sitting next to you, it already pulls a little on your attention.

Why the phone takes up so much room

Your phone holds your work, your family and friends, your diary, your photos, your bank and your way home. Losing it means losing a bit of all that at once. So the worry is not absurd.

What keeps it going is relief. You feel a small gap, you check, and you feel better for a few seconds. The brain learns the lesson: discomfort calms down with the screen. And the threshold drops. After a few months, a minute's wait at the checkout is enough to trigger the gesture.

In the people I work with, I often find the same thing: the phone comes out in the empty moments, tiredness, boredom, an emotion you would rather not feel. For students, it adds to an already heavy mental overload. The work is not about banning the gesture, but about finding other ways to get through those moments.

Loosening the grip, step by step

Among the approaches that have been suggested, the Genoa researchers mention gradually cutting the time spent on the phone, exercise, deep breathing and a diary where you record your use. I draw on this, working through small separations rather than a sudden break. A whole week without a phone often ends with it coming back with a vengeance.

Observe before you change anything

For three days, change nothing. Each evening, simply note the moments when you picked up your phone without deciding to: on waking, in the toilet, on the bus or tram, in front of the television. Also note what you were feeling just before. Two or three moments will stand out from the rest.

Then separate gently

Choose one step at a time, and keep it for a week before adding the next:

• turn off every notification that does not come from a person;
• leave the phone in another room during meals;
• charge it outside the bedroom, with a proper alarm clock on the bedside table;
• go to the shops or for a short walk without it;
• keep the first half hour of the day screen-free.

One hour less can already make a difference. In a study of 278 employees in Germany, those who cut their personal smartphone use by one hour a day for a week said they were more satisfied with their work, had a better balance between work and private life and felt better in themselves than the group who changed nothing. Their problematic phone use had also gone down. It was one hour less, not a complete cut-off.

An exercise for the moment the anxiety rises

This is what I often suggest in sessions when the phone is not there and the unease arrives. It takes two minutes and you do it with your eyes open, anywhere.

Step by step

1. Notice where it is happening in your body: your throat, your chest, your stomach, your hands looking for something.
2. Put your feet flat on the floor. Feel the ground, the weight of your body on the chair or in your legs.
3. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four, then breathe out slowly through your mouth for a count of six. Repeat five times.
4. Look around you and name three things you can see and two sounds you can hear.
5. Come back to the sensation you started with. It has often dropped a notch.

The urge to check is like a wave: it rises, peaks, then falls if you do not feed it. The more you let these waves pass, the shorter they become. If you like a more structured way of breathing, heart coherence breathing follows the same principle.

What sophrology and hypnosis can offer

I have not found any serious study on sophrology and nomophobia, and I would rather tell you so. What I offer draws on what helps with unease in general: feeling your body, breathing, preparing for difficult situations.

In sophrology, you first learn to notice tension as soon as it starts, and to let it go before your hand reaches for your pocket. Then we prepare the separations calmly: you picture yourself going out without your phone, waiting for an appointment empty-handed, and you let your body live the scene relaxed. Sessions can take place at my practice or by video call, which, I admit, is a little funny for this subject.

And hypnosis?

With hypnosis, as I practise it, we work in a state of deep relaxation on what the phone is there to soothe: boredom, the need to be reachable, the fear of missing out. Hypnosis takes place only at my practice, rue Ducau.

And for teenagers?

I also work with teenagers, and I have run workshops in schools. With them, banning things rarely works. Instead, we look together at what the phone gives them, and what they might find elsewhere, at their own pace. Sophrology for teenagers lends itself well to this.

When to see a doctor and how to start

Sophrology and hypnosis do not replace medical advice. Talk to your doctor if:

• the anxiety of being without your phone stops you working, going out or sleeping;
• you have panic attacks, with a racing heart or a feeling of choking;
• you have felt sad or exhausted for several weeks;
• you notice that your phone mainly helps you escape difficult thoughts.

As the Indian team points out, anxiety that latches onto the phone can hide another form of anxiety, and it is up to the doctor to sort this out. I work alongside medical care, never instead of it.

To start today, do the breathing exercise once this evening, with your phone in another room. If you would like support, you can book a sophrology session for adults, by video call or at my practice, or a hypnosis session for adults in Bordeaux. You can read about my background on the about page.